Twenty Four At Heart

Call Me Exhibit A

Last June, I underwent breast reduction surgery at the urging of my shoulder surgeon, Dr. Schobert.  He felt it would help me with my post-car accident arm/shoulder/neck/upper back problems.  My arm/shoulder is doing much better now than it was pre-reduction, but I can't say definitively if my improvement is a result of the reduction or not.  In any case, I now have smaller, perkier, breasts and less pain than I had pre-reduction.

Oh, I also now have bionic nipples which are both a blessing and a curse.

If you've been reading Twenty Four At Heart for awhile, you know I became friends with just about everyone in my plastic surgeon's office as a result of my reduction.  I love the doctor (Dr. Nichter), and I've written about the wonderful volunteer work he does around the world here and here.  

At some point, I really need to talk to Dr. Nichter about becoming an official sponsor of Twenty Four At Heart, but at this point we've merely established an unofficial alliance.  In other words, I think the world of him and I'm more than happy to give him publicity here on 24.  In return, he keeps me up to date on the latest and greatest with Orange County plastic surgery and invites me to cover events he's involved with.

It allows me to write fun stories for you.

Recently, I've been talking to Dr. Nichter and his staff about an event they're throwing in Huntington Beach on the evening of March 11th.  It will be a plastic surgery party like the one I wrote about last fall (Part I and Part II).  Dr. Nichter has decided to let me invite all of my readers (male and female) to the March event.  

He is a brave, brave, man!

I realize many of you live in Australia or South Africa or China or other far away places, and will not be able to attend.  On the other hand, those of you who are in Orange, L.A., Ventura, Riverside, or San Diego county may want to make the trip.  I will have more details for you as the event gets closer, but I wanted to let you know so you can save the date now.  If you can make it, I'm sure you'll have a fantastic time, plus you'll have the opportunity to party with me for the evening and it doesn't cost a cent!

I also promise you no one will be at the party pressuring you to have plastic surgery.  It isn't that type of event, at all.

I'm a lot of fun to hang out with, by the way!

Also?

Dr. Nichter and I are discussing a plan to give my readers some type of discount on services offered by his office (probably on injectables).  They won't be performing procedures at the party, but that doesn't mean you might not be interested in taking advantage of a Twenty Four At Heart Reader Discount at another time.  I will let you know once the details are finalized.

Last week, I was at Dr. Nichter's office discussing the upcoming March event with him.  (And to be honest, spending most of my time getting caught up with, and visiting with, his staff.)  Being the nosy person I am, I was taking note of the new changes in his office since I last visited.

That's when I realized, omigod (!), Dr. Nichter now has a fat melting machine!

I'm not even joking!

Except, the machine technically doesn't actually melt fat, but as far as I'm concerned - it MELTS FAT!

I was so excited by the idea, it's entirely possible Dr. Nichter could not make me shut-up.   I prattled on and on (and on and on!) about it.  He informed me they are currently testing it out as a "body slimming" machine.  It involves no incisions, no pain, and no down time.  It supposedly helps a person to "reshape" their body, decrease cellulite, and also tighten and tone loose skin.

All while you just sit there reading, talking on the phone, or writing blog posts.

"You should let me test it for you!" I exclaimed eagerly.

Dr. Nichter smiled patiently at me, and eventually gave in to my incessant pleading said he thought so too.

Yes readers, he is going to let me be a test subject for his new machine at no cost to myself.  It's a service that normally would cost $2,500.  It involves six, forty minute, visits where I just sit there while my fat, hopefully, melts.  I'm going to be writing about my experience, whether it be a positive one or a negative one.

Let's be honest, I am extremely skeptical of the magic fat melting machine.

Do I expect to sit under a light for 40 minutes on six occasions and become thinner?  No, I do not.

On the other hand, I've got a lot nothing to lose, and what can it hurt?  There are no side effects whatsoever.

The manufacturer of the fat melting machine (which I will tell you more about at a later date) claims 80% of the people who try the treatment lose over six inches.

I don't believe them.

The fat melting machine needs to prove itself to me, and I absolutely hope it does.  Regardless, I will share my experience and results with you (in terms of inches lost, if any) here on Twenty Four At Heart.

I'm in the process of trying to clear my calendar right now to make this "experiment" work.  I have to be available two weeks in a row, three days each week, in order to do this.  I'm hoping to start melting my fat in about two weeks if I can make all the arrangements. 

I'm so excited to be a test subject.  Just think, if you make it to the party on March 11th, there might be less of me to meet!

© Twenty Four At Heart

Forming A Plan

I've gotten so many emails, I feel like I need to respond publicly.  I don't want any of you to worry about me, I'm fine.  Before we move on to other topics (and tomorrow's post is a good one!), I just want to assure you I'm picking myself up and moving forward.  Last week's drama was a surprise ... a sad and heartbreaking surprise, but oh well.  

It certainly isn't the first time in my life I've been disappointed or hurt by a friend.  

Such is life.

I'm seeing my doc/surgeon this week.  I've decided to wait and discuss my future PT with him before I make any appointments.  If I were going to be working with a PT for a month or two like normal people do, it wouldn't matter much.  However, I will probably need someone to work with me on an ongoing basis for ... um, forever.

(Good God, it's hard to admit that.)

Personality matters, a lot, to me.  

I need someone who can learn when to push me and when to hug me.  I need a PT who can laugh - a lot.  I do know a few PTs who have become my friends these last few years.  They're people I've met through The Torturer.  The thing is, I think I need a fresh start ... a start that isn't associated with The Torturer at all, in any way, whatsoever.

In the meantime, my arm was really acting up over the weekend.  It was cold and rainy here on Saturday and that never seems to help.  I decided to pick up a few items for home use to hold me over.  It might take a few weeks to get set up with a new PT (if my insurance will even cover it) and I can't afford to neglect my arm for very long.  

Since my accident, I've spent a lot of time learning to do arm stretches with a big exercise ball so I bought one to help stretch my arm muscles at home.

I realized as I looked at the box, the very answer I've been looking for was right there in front of me ... and he's got six-pack abs too!

 

What do you think?

Maybe he's available for hire?

After all, I did say personality matters, a lot, to me.

© Twenty Four At Heart

Rainy Weekend

I'll be at a Super Bowl party today.  I'm hoping the rain stops, or at least slows down, so we can enjoy being outside for part of the day also.  It has been a wet, wet, weekend.

(This is a stock photo, I didn't take it.  I don't want to get my equipment wet!)

© Twenty Four At Heart  

Focusing on the Positive

© Twenty Four At Heart

Emotional Hangover

Have you ever felt hungover just from stress?  

Or from emotions running intense and high? 

Well, yeah ... that's where I am. 

I'm wiped out, drained.

You guys were awesome yesterday.  Your comments, emails, tweets ... all made me feel like there really are good people in this world still.  I'm sorry I haven't gotten back to each of you individually yet.

Did I mention I'm emotionally drained?

There are two parts to my break up with The Torturer.  I'm trying to adjust to, and digest, both. 

First, there's the fact I've lost my long-term physical therapist.  Many of you have been lucky enough never to experience physical therapy.  Physical therapy isn't 100% about the physical.  When you go to PT for a long time, you develop a bond and trust and a relationship with your therapist.  That relationship, if it's successful, is a mixture of mutual trust and respect and even more trust.

After all, you are letting someone physically hurt you.  You have to be able to trust they'll do the right thing for you and also know not to hurt you too much.

(Something The Torturer has completely lost sight of this week.)

The professional bond is not usually severed as abruptly as in my situation.

I walked in the door of PT on Wednesday knowing I had a physical therapist I felt comfortable with and a few minutes later I no longer did.  The unexpectedness of the situation sent me reeling with anxiety and fear over the physical welfare of my arm (and all of its adjacent body parts).

The Torturer would tell you I had the option to continue treatment at his facility.  Perhaps, in his mind I did.

But ... there was no option.

I will find another physical therapist.  There are a zillion of them in Orange County and most of them take my insurance.  It might take a week or two to find one I feel is a good fit, but I know I will.  In fact, my shoulder surgeon read yesterday's post and emailed me with a few recommendations last night.

It was reassuring to hear from him.  It sounds sappy, but my immediate thought was, "Well, at least someone still cares about my recovery."

I hope my insurance will continue to pay for PT when I make the change to a new practice.  I know already, there's a very good chance they won't.

And then?  

I'm shit out of luck.

Thank you for that Mr. Torturer.

Don't get me wrong.  

I agree with The Torturer, Anthem Blue Cross is being One Gigantic Asshole.  I also agree, The Torturer needs to do what he feels is best for his employees and his business.

I have no problem with any of that.

As I wrote yesterday, I have a problem with how this decision was handled on the patient end.

The second part of this situation, the truly painful part, is the friendship involved.  

I've known The Torturer for nearly fifteen years.  

It isn't something I've written about much here.  I've shared with you the PT aspect of The Torturer, but not much about The Friendship aspect of The Torturer.  

I suppose it goes without saying, losing him as a friend is the part that hurts the most.  

He tried to tell me nothing has changed with us.

I don't know how he can say that?

(Did our friendship ever really exist in the first place?  This is something I question constantly now.)

I knew the friendship was gone the minute I felt the door slam on my ass as I left on Wednesday.

I knew it again, with an intense and very painful jolt, when I read his email and text messages last night.

I think that's all I should say about the relationship aspect of this situation.  Except, you know, it hurts on a personal level a lot.

I haven't mourned a friendship in a long time, and now - I am.

The Torturer left a comment on my post yesterday.  If you didn't see it, you might be interested in going back and taking a look at what he had to say.  Or maybe not.  He also wrote me a long letter and asked me to use it as today's post.  For a variety of reasons, I didn't feel it was appropriate to do so.

I'm not sure if I'll be posting this weekend.  If not, I'll be back on Monday.  

Also?  I do have some very interesting news to share with you next week.  It got upstaged by all the PT drama, but I really think you'll enjoy hearing about it.

Thank you again for all the kind words and virtual hugs.  

You are so often a huge source of strength - thank you!

Suzanne

© Twenty Four At Heart

Where The Torturer & I Break Up

You wouldn't believe everything that happened to me yesterday.  It was one of those days where I had nearly every moment booked from the moment I woke up until late in the evening.  In addition to all the planned activities for the day, there was an emotional roller coaster of unexpected events taking place too.

I will share a lot of yesterday's events with you, but for now, for today, let's just focus on one thing - my break up with The Torturer after our three and a half year relationship.

Well, let me be honest about this ... The Torturer broke up with me.

(And if you're a new reader, I apologize in advance but you will not understand today's post.  Perhaps you should go back and read my About Page, and/or peruse my Recovery category to get up to speed.)

There are two parts to this story.  I will explain the factual, blah, blah, blah part first (and quickly!) so when you read the ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGH! CURSE! TEARS! emotional part, it will make more sense.

My medical insurance is with Anthem Blue Cross of California.  For writing purposes, I will just refer to them as BC for Blue Cross.  

Recently, BC made the decision to pay physical therapists in California about half of what they have been paying them in the past for a patient's PT visit.  (This is in spite of making incredible profits as an insurance company.  Don't we all hate the big bad insurance companies?)  In other words, Blue Cross is forcing a 50% pay-cut on physical therapists who treat BC patients.  The Torturer has known for months this change was on the horizon and he's been very upset about it.  He's said it may result in having to cut the salaries of his employees or laying people off.  Around one third of The Torturer's patients are BC patients.

WAKE UP READERS!

I'M DONE WITH THE BLAH, BLAH, BLAH PART!

Yesterday, when I walked into PT I was informed The Torturer had made the decision to pull his practice out of the BC network of providers - effective at the beginning of the very week we are existing in right now.  That means I already attended two appointments this week I'm not covered for.

What all this means is, my insurance will no longer pay for me to go to PT at my current facility.

What it also means is, I no longer have The Torturer as my physical therapist.

What it also means is, I have no plan for immediate treatment and my arm and upper body will begin exploding in breathtaking pain in 3 ... 2 ... 1 ....

What it also MAY mean, is a discontinuation of insurance coverage for my arm forever.  (The reasons for this are long and technical and boring so I won't list them, but losing my coverage for PT on my arm is now a strong likelihood.)

I feel all my hopes for my arm, and dreams of my recovery, falling and shattering into a million splintered pieces on the ground.  I feel the fear of regressing, of losing what I've fought so hard for, clutching like a vise at my heart.  

In my mind, I hear over, and over again, The Torturer's words from just last week.  He chided me for missing two appointments because it became instantly apparent I had regressed in even that short amount of time.  I struggled to lift a one pound weight when the week before I had lifted three.

I think about my camera, my love of photography ... how hard I've fought and what I may now lose.

What happens to me now?

Could I pay cash (at a reduced rate) to continue my treatment?  Well, technically I could.  

Realistically, I cannot.

The Torturer did not handle any of this the way I think he should have.  (That is strictly my opinion as his long-term patient, and as his friend.)  I'm very hurt and disappointed.

Although I've known The Torturer has been frustrated by Blue Cross "issues," there was no advance warning he was considering exiting the BC network.  Therefore, The Torturer's BC patients (or *ahem* FRIENDS) had no idea of this impending change.

There was no transition time provided for me his patients to find alternative treatment.

There were no suggestions or referrals provided for the treatment patients need (and which The Torturer will no longer be providing.)

[Although, later - in an exchange of text messages and emails, The Torturer said he would provide referrals if requested.]

When I asked The Torturer what I should do, he said, "That's up to you."

And yes, I did take that to mean, "I don't give a shit, you don't bring any money in for me anymore."

Is that what he meant?

You would have to ask him.  I can only write about how his words made me feel.

I feel abandoned.

I feel betrayed.

I feel like I've lost the ONE person who has truly understood what I've gone through since my accident.  (Who, apparently, doesn't really understand at all because if he did he wouldn't have walked away from me without a visible ounce of concern for my well being.)

I feel very hurt at how casually I was "dismissed."

I feel myself sinking, and sinking, and yes - giving up all hope for any further recovery.

© Twenty Four At Heart

Answering Your Questions

Many of you choose to email me directly rather than leave comments in my comment section.  I don't mind at all, and it's perfectly fine with me if you do so.  I do think a lot of readers enjoy reading the comments, however, and seeing what other readers think about certain posts.

I try to get back to both commenters and those who email me, but I'm often a big huge failure in this area.  It isn't because I don't care or don't want to communicate, it's just that there are many days when I'm using every spare moment just to get a post written.  The next thing I know a week has gone by and the list of emails I need, or want to, respond to seems endless.

I'll keep trying to do better in this area.

Anyway, I thought I'd list out some of the recent questions I've received and answer them in a public forum.  Many of you may have the same questions and appreciate the answers. Either that, or perhaps I'm about to bore you all to death.

1.  I heard you are going to stop writing Twenty Four, is that true?  No.  I'm sure there are some people who wish I'd stop writing 24, but I have no plans to stop writing.

2.  Are you going to turn Twenty Four into a photography website?  No.  I will continue to use photos in many of my posts just like I always have, but Twenty Four At Heart is a reflection of my entire chaotic OC life not just one aspect of it.  (I often post just photos on the weekends because those are my days "off.")  

3. I'm wondering if there will be a new little section on 24.  Photography.  Tips and tricks and stuff.  A little cadre of piksher taker wannabes hanging on your every utterance.  Ha!  I would love to devote a separate section of 24 to photography eventually, but I think I would want it to be more an area of collective input ... where readers who share this interest could come and discuss what they know and what they're learning.  We'll see - let me think over the possibilities and logistics.

4.  Who do you think you are trying to sell your photos?  Um, my name is Suzanne and I live in Orange County, California?  (And by the way, I've made them available for purchase at the request of readers, it isn't something I came up with on my own.)

5.  What did Briefcase think of Roxxxy?  I haven't asked him.  I've been fighting the stomach flu all week though so right about now he probably thinks she's looking damn good.

6.  Do you make up your crazy stories like the one about your bionic nipples?  My nipples are pretty bionic.  Just sayin' ...!  All of my stories are based on my real life and based in fact.  I am, however, a writer.  I use creative license to make the retelling of my stories more interesting or amusing.  (I also change facts to disguise identities if I feel I need to.)  As an example, when I wrote in one posts, "My nipple-erections were protruding so far out of my chest, they would have put any well-endowed man to shame," the exact degree of my nipple protrusion was not intended to be taken literally.  Were my nipples at full attention?  Yes, they were.  I think most of my readers understand my intentions when I write something like "her tits reached clear across the room."

7.  Why don't you tell us as many stories about The Torturer as you used to?  Unfortunately, as 24 has become more widely read, The Torturer has become concerned about how he is portrayed here on 24.  I don't use his real name, and I never give out identifying details about him or his practice.  Nonetheless, he worries someone might figure out his identity.  He's worried my joking and teasing about his antics might be misconstrued by some as unprofessional behavior on his part.  If someone managed to connect enough dots, he's afraid Torturer stories could adversely affect his business.  

In truth, I think most of you know I owe the man my heart and soul for all he's helped me through.  (Which does not change the tumultuous nature of my relationship with him one bit!)  However, I would never want to hurt anyone in any way, intentionally or not, with 24 ... especially someone who has been there for me through so much.  Thus, fewer Torturer stories out of respect for him and our friendship.

8.  How did you learn so much about taking pictures since you've only had your camera a short while?  Photography has been a hobby of mine for twenty years.  I was not able to lift a camera the last few years since my car accident.  I don't consider myself an expert, but I do have many years of learning behind me ... and hopefully many more years of learning about photography in front of me also.  There is always more to learn.

9.  Are you in pain all the time?  I live with pain too and I find your story inspiring.  I'm sure your situation is much worse than mine.  Yes, I am in pain all the time.  I have not slept through the night one single night since the accident.  It sucks.  My pain levels are much better than they used to be though, and for that I'm very grateful.  Some days are better than others.  The Torturer is forcing me to consult with a Pain Management Specialist in upcoming days.  He feels we need to get my pain more under control in order for me to make any further progress.  

(For those who have asked, yes, I have also consulted with an accupuncturist.  He said I've been "anatomically altered" too much by all my surgeries.  Apparently, accupuncture isn't very successful in cases of multiple surgeries.)

I don't know if anyone's situation is better or worse ... living in pain is never a good thing no matter what.  I'm sorry anyone has to live their life suffering.  I don't think anything I'm doing is "inspiring."  I'm just trying to get my life back to normal to the best of my ability.  If sharing my struggles - my many ups and downs - here on 24 helps anyone, I'm glad.

10.  Will you be in New York this summer for the BlogHer10 Conference?  Yes!  I'm looking forward to meeting as many of you as possible.  

11.  What lens do you shoot with?  I have several different lenses I've acquired over time.  The lens I use most, on a day in and day out basis, is my Canon 24-105.

12.  How old are you really?  Twenty Four ...?!

If I didn't answer your question today, feel free to email me with it, or leave it in my comments section.  I will try to get back to you individually and if I don't, maybe I'll do another post like this again sometime soon.

© Twenty Four At Heart

iSuck (Just Ask Me To)

Last month Las Vegas hosted the AEE - better known as the Adult Entertainment Expo.

No, I didn't attend.

I would love to next year though.  Think of the giggles blog material!

A man named Douglas Hines unveiled a sex-robot at the Expo.  Her name is Roxxxy.  She is the most advanced sex robot ever invented.  Roxxxy won't be available for purchase for a few months still, but supposedly thousands of men have already pre-ordered a Roxxxy of their very own.  (If you're interested, you can contact Hines' very graphic site here, but I should warn you in advance it isn't appropriate if you're at work.)

I found this photo of (anatomically correct) Roxxxy with her creator online.

Did you notice her mouth is open?

* snicker *

Personally, I don't find Roxxxy very attractive but I'm a heterosexual female.  You may have a different opinion.

Here's Roxxxy in a different outfit and position (and apparently with a companion).

 

Roxxxy comes with a high price tag.  She costs $7,000!  

That's right seven thousand dollars!

I suppose her price tag makes her perfect for rich, lonely, OC men.

Roxxxy is five foot seven inches tall and weighs a thin 120 pounds.  Her skin is made out of the same soft, silicone, material that artificial limbs are made out of.  Heated air blows pumps through her body to keep her warm to the touch.

(I'm really, really, trying to give you all the information about Roxxxy without making any puns.  It's very hard difficult.)

Why is Roxxxy so special?  Well, there are several reasons.  Roxxxy comes with five different personalities including Frigid Farrah and Wild Wendy.  Her companion can pick whichever personality he/she's in the mood for.

Can anyone tell me why someone would pay $7000 for a frigid rubber sex robot?

Roxxxy is also a product of artificial intelligence (as are many Orange County women.)  She can carry on conversations, express emotion and answer questions.  She can't move on her own so her owner won't have to worry about Roxxxy wandering off with another partner when he needs her most.  She, however, can be contorted into most "natural" positions for your enjoyment.

I'm going to leave that last sentence alone.

Writing this post is taking amazing restraint on my part!

Roxxxy has "sensors" in her hands, and genitals (and breasts? does she have bionic nipples?) so she will respond orally vocally when touched.  I'm not sure if she's a moaner or a screamer.  It might depend on which personality her companion has chosen at the time.  

Roxxxy shudders when she has an orgasm.

What happens to a man's ego if he can't make his sex robot cum?

Roxxxy isn't perfect.  She snores in her sleep.  Yes, she really does.  There's a button to turn off her snoring if you find it irritating.  (I'm trying to get a button installed on Briefcase with the same feature!)  Also, Roxxxy's battery only lasts about three hours on one charge.  When she needs to be recharged, her companion uses an electrical cord which plugs into her back.

When I need to be recharged, I head out of town for the weekend.

If you want to pay extra, Roxxxy's creator can program her to discuss particular topics.  Are you into the stock market?  Does it turn you on?  Well, he can program Roxxxy to discuss the market with you for an extra fee.  Have you always wanted a woman who loves to watch, and discuss, lacrosse with you?  Roxxxy may be the answer.

In the future, versions of Roxxxy are expected to do even more.  (Which begs the question, what won't Roxxxy do now?)  

A male sex robot is in the making also.  He'll be named Rocky.

I'm sure it won't be long until Apple comes out with a similar doll of their own.  Possible names for an Apple sex doll?  How about iSuck?  Or maybe it should be iFuck?

© Twenty Four At Heart